ON THE ROAD TO............

 Ain’t it funny……the way one thing leads to another? My recent “Two drifters” post was enough to lead me on to a second installment I called “A lot of world to see.” Now, that same bit of logic has me thinking that “seeing the world” might require a plan, perhaps even a roadmap. 

With that in mind I invite you to join me on yet another blog journey, an imaginative adventure of sorts. Though I have a particular excursion in mind for myself, I hope you are willing to create your own itinerary……one that fits you. 

Let’s begin by taking a moment to consider our life-path in terms of a roadmap. No matter where we are presently located on that map there are dozens of possible routes available to each of us as we move ahead. It seems that every fork in the road we come to offers the promise, or the threat, of its own particular outcome.

We understand, don’t we, that with every day life presents us with new possibilities, new choices to be made….even if we choose to stay on the same road. With that in mind, let’s consider for a moment what was likely a pivotal instant in each of our young lives…….whether or not we realized that at the time.

Imagine, if you will, a return to a day in early May, in what would have been your last year of high school. Remember that heady time……when it felt like you were about to embark on your  long awaited venture into the adulthood……heading off on the road to your “Becoming.”? 

Chances were that never in our young lives had we faced such a consequential set of life choices. Though we may have already decided on our first post-high school step, whether we knew it or not we were living in a moment alive with potential choices.

There we were, setting out on our own personal journey, facing a future full of possibilities. Our youthful roadmap would include so many side roads for us to choose from, each one leading off toward a hazy, perhaps hopeful future. And whether we realized it or not, it would be the choices we made at those crossroads that would dictate our future.

So how did we make those choices? Did we rely on a carefully thought-out plan …….with each possibility checked and double-checked? Or was ours an impulsive “free-at-last” leap into what felt like an adult world? More than that, was it our decisions that carried the day……or was someone else making those choices for us? 

In any case the question remains…….how good was that high-school “choice making” of ours……the path we chose from all the possible options before us? I won’t pretend to speak for you, but looking back I have to say my personal “choice-making skills” were a bit lacking.

To be sure, the path I chose that May, enrolling in college, would lead to my soulmate. I take our sixty-seven years together as vindication of a choice well-made. Yet even with that victory in hand things might have turned out better if I had followed Her advice, instead of relying on my own loosey-goosey life plan.

And what about the years that followed? How often did you and I take time to remember that we were gifted with a new set of life choices each time came to a new fork in our life-journey……when some new choice offered its own set of possibilities and consequences? 

However, no matter how we weigh that time, that was then……that high school May Day and the choices we made then……the ones that eventually  brought to to this time and place. It was those choices that created our past…..the ones made for whatever reasons we had at the time.

But, this is now. Today is a new day, with its own reasons and choices.

With that “this is now” understanding in mind, let’s return for a moment to our roadmap. No matter what our age, the question remains……where are we on that map? What forks in the road lay ahead? Do we have any particular destinations or outcomes in mind……or have we settled into our own familiar rut, running on automatic?

Just before my soulmate left for her “next life” journey she told me, in very blunt terms, that I must find a way to “Carry on” in the face of her absence. In the days since then I have often asked, and continue to ask, “What road should I take, what choices should I make to honor her “Carry on” instructions?

At eighty-seven I live most of my days alone. Though I am blessed with a close and caring family, my days are largely solitary. I won’t say I am “anti-social,” but I am somewhat “unsocial.” For the most part I make myself heard through the cyber megaphones of email and blogging.

Of course the life-path I am walking has changed over time. That’s the way it is for everyone. Yet, having come this far down the road, from time to time I still sense new choices awaiting……hopefully age-appropriate side roads leading to who knows where.

As always, we have made our choices along the way……all sorts of choices……financial, relational, family, career, and health. For those of us who are so inclined our “what-if” daydreams may have us questioning some of those choices. Yet, no matter where our daydreams take us, we will always come face to face with the need to be looking ahead.

I want to believe that even now, this late in the game, I mustn’t give up. The possibility of new experiences, of side roads to follow, remains an option. If you are the sort who believes in a life purpose, it is fair to ask if you have achieved that goal……or do you have further to go?

Every one of us, regardless of our age, or where we are in our life-journey, is aware of at least some of the possibilities awaiting us. We are never too old to wonder which of those destinations fits us best? And if we know that, what roads, what choices, will lead us there?

SUCH A LOT OF WORLD TO SEE

I sometimes wonder if some of my blog posts are actually finished when I send them off into cyberspace. More than once I have asked myself if a second go-round is called for to make them complete.

That seemed to be the case when I revisited my last post……Two Drifters - off to see the world. In a matter of minutes my thoughts were overtaken by the next line of Johnny Mercer’s Moon River lyrics ……“There’s such a lot of world to see.” 

It was enough to have me remembering the world, or at least the parts of it, that Roma and I had experienced in the course of our sixty-seven years of ‘drifting’ together. I’m guessing you can relate to some of your own “seeing the world” possibilities.

Near as I can tell my “seeing the world” urges surfaced early. I was 14 when I talked a couple buddies into joining me to run away from home ……which at the time struck me as the ultimate adventure. 

We would hitch-hike east through the Columbia River gorge, where one of my pals talked me out of trying to swim across the mighty Columbia to hop one of the freight trains on the Washington side. More to the point, that youthful escapade would end in the Umatilla County jail, and a county-paid bus ride home.

By the end of our sophomore year in college Roma and I had been ‘going steady’ for a year. That had me offering a well-intentioned suggestion that the two of us spend our next summer back-packing in Europe. I had read of such adventures, and it would be a perfect fit for us……or so I thought.

Though I did not know it at the time, our future together would be rescued by Roma’s refusal to ask her mother for permission to be part of such a trip. As I got to know her better I realized that my steely-eyed mother-in-law to be, the lady our kids would know as Grandma Janet, would have put an immediate and final end to any relationship that hatched such impetuous, new-world notions.

In our years together there would be much to revel in, to be proud of. Our family, now three generations deep, tops that list. And not far behind are the things we accomplished together……creating some very special moments, including those times when, with Grandma Janet’s permission, we spread our wings to see some of the world. After all, like the song says…….”There is such a lot of world to see.”

Our “lot of world” travels together began in the rough and dusty wilds of Baja California, circa 1960. While more conventional folks were settling for a honeymoon in Hawaii, Southern California, or Niagara Falls, I had decided that La Paz, the southern terminus of the infamous Baja Road, would suit us better.

Where else could we have borrowed the bartender’s cab, which had to be hot-wired, because there was no key, to see the sights of town. Our hotel was the best in town……as you would expect for $25 per night. Sadly the pool had suffered an ugly algae bloom, so we settled for an afternoon at the neighborhood cock fights.

It would be a few years later, now with two young sons in tow, when Roma and I again set off to see more of our world……all the way to the rarified haunts of Palo Alto, and the Stanford Graduate School of Business. There, while a bit overwhelmed in that population of bright and ambitious would-be tycoons, our small-town crew learned a bit about life in the fast lane. Though it was an interesting experience, we were not converted.

I can’t blame Stanford for what came next. A year later our family of four averaged nine miles an hour over five days spent driving the original Baja Road. I had ridden a motorcycle the length of that outback trail a few years before. Repeating the trek in a four-wheel drive pick up was a comfortable alternative.

Then in 1970, at the age of thirty-three I came face-to-face with a textbook mid-life crisis that would send our family of five off to see a very different part of the world. How about a 1,400 acre cattle and alfalfa ranch deep in the Oregon Outback? Though I still scratch my head just thinking about it, even Mancini and Mercer could not have imagined my long hours in the saddle, or Roma’s love of driving the bulky haying machine and tending day-old calves. Like the song says…… “There’s such a lot of world to see.”

Truth to tell, ranching was not in our blood. By the time the ranch was sold I was expected to return to the family business, ready to free my dad for his eagerly awaited retirement. Sadly, a year later I managed to again put those plans on hold…….while we “drifters”  went “off to see the world.” 

This time we went as far as Winchester, the ancient capital of England. For the next year, while my dad stewed back home, we saw more of the world……Great Britain, Ireland, and western Europe. In the process I did manage to complete a novel, my supposed reason for taking our crew, now numbering six, abroad. In reality it was a classic case of a spoiled son indulging himself so that he and his family could see the world. 

Returning to real life back in Oregon, Roma settled into becoming the mother our four children loved, needed, and remember. Meanwhile, I set about growing and expanding the family business……putting my Stanford learning to work in a small business universe. For all those family-rearing years our “seeing the world” centered on the kids and their activities, along with family-centered travels, including a return visit to Winchester.

When the time came to sell the family companies I would move on to a second career in public school business administration. Those “seeing the world” years included moves to southern and central Oregon. 

It was after our central Oregon days, and my subsequent retirement, that we indulged ourselves in extended travels through the eastern half of the US and one last European tour……twelve weeks spent driving back roads and walking the side streets of Paris, London, and Edinburgh.

When all is said and done for us “two drifters” the possibilities of “such a lot of world to see” was not simply a matter of the places we saw and experienced.  It was about the people we connected with, both at home with family and friends, and in the course of our travels.

Though it makes for a pleasant reverie……revisiting some of the places, events, and people we were able to experience in the course of our “drifting”……it was the folks we met along the way who provided the real treasure at the “rainbow’s end” that Mercer spoke of.

Here’s hoping that you too have learned, and are still learning, your own personal lessons about “such a lot of world to see.” 

TWO DRIFTERS...OFF TO SEE THE WORLD

 

I woke up this morning, the seventh of July, ready to continue a conversation we had begun the night before. You see, it has been two years to the day since Roma made her exit from our world. For that long our conversations, at least my conversations, have been a part of my daily routine.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes I paused to remember the significance of this date, then turned on the TV for my weekly Sunday Morning on CBS fix……..and there it was, apparently waiting for me.

It was a feature segment on Henry Mancini, and there on the screen was Audrey Hepburn singing ‘Moon River.’ A moment later, without a second thought, I had captured the image of Roma and I……”Two drifters, off to see the world.”

After all, that’s what we were. Perhaps you and your life partner can relate to that notion. We were “two drifters’……swept along by tides we did not always understand, not always sure where we were going, or where our ‘drifting’ might take us……yet glad to be drifting together, seeking “the same rainbows end."

“There’s such a lot of world to see,” the song continued. Though we didn’t see it all in our sixty-seven years together, we certainly saw our share of the world, and more.

And now, two years since she decided to ‘drift’ off on her own, leaving me ‘adrift’ in a sometimes empty world, I am left to visit with her in my own way, and dream about the time, somewhere in our future, when we will again be ‘drifting’ together. 

In the meantime I am left to recall the time, just days before she left, when she told me…..”I am glad it is working out this way……with me leaving first, and you staying here to carry on. Because you will be able to do that, and I know I couldn’t……not alone.”

Of course she could have carried on. She is a strong soul. But instead she left. And here I am, two years later, still trying to “carry on,” adrift with the dream of the reunion that surely awaits us…..me and my “huckleberry friend.”

FRAMING OUR FUTURE

Happy Fourth of July……when we celebrate our vision of what America has been, and what we hope it can be. Given today’s ‘State of the Union’ it seems appropriate to return to a previous post, from late 2020, that addresses what seemed to me the realistic challenges facing our nation…..the very things we ought to be praying for. Sadly, it rings more true than in times past. 

                           ******************                                                                                                                    

Where did we go wrong……this October/November generation of ours……we children of the 30’ and 40’s? As I look back on the times when we were one of the “generations in charge” it seems like I must have missed a few things along the way. Some of what was happening must have gone right over my head. Either that or I simply wasn’t paying attention.

In my more lucid moments I remember our generation as the product of post-WWII unity. And why not? In those trying war years our nation had come together, if only superficially, to fight a common enemy and defeat that era’s Anti-Christ.

This generation of ours was shaped and tempered by that wartime experience, when everyone, at every age, was expected to do their part in the “war effort.” Grade schoolers, such as we were at the time, were expected to save tin foil and metal cans, add our few coins to War Bond collections, and willingly forgo bubble gum and candy for “the duration.” Without knowing exactly what it meant we were being groomed to accept and support a “united” national effort.

At the same time, in our youthful and naive eyes, that unity was producing a powerful affirmation……a sense that “We can do anything.”

But now……seventy-some years later……it feels like that affirmation has faded for too many of our people. Something as simple as civil discourse is too often out of reach. At times it seems that we are inhabiting an altogether different world…..one that I sometimes scarcely recognize. 

In many ways that new reality is fueled by the internet, with its often unsocial social media, and twenty-four hour cable news, always hungry for eye-catching content. Those technological “improvements” have changed the way we gather the information we use to make decisions.

Perhaps you have noticed that in the process we have become a drastically divided country. I realize that to some degree it has always been that way. But when was it ever this bad……when even our divisions are divided? Right and Left, we are divided. Conservation and Liberal, we are divided. White and Black, we are divided. ’Haves’ and ‘Have-nots,’ we are divided. 

How could a nation as united as I once believed we were become so disjointed? Was the perceived unity I remember a mirage? More to the point, is there any way out of the quicksand quagmire we find ourselves in today? 

Fact is, in today's world we can offer a serious problem for most any taste. Just take a moment to consider the signs of the time……the more obvious ways our nation’s dysfunction has made itself known. 

One of the most intractable of those divisions is the widening gulf between our country’s ‘Haves’ and ‘Have-nots.’ Is there anything in sight that might reverse that trend? I am one of those who believe that until the ‘Have-nots,’ who make up the majority of our nation’s population, are provided a more meaningful place at the table their increasingly vocal complaints will stand in the way of a lasting reconciliation.

On the other hand, if a ‘Have vs Have-not’ debate fails to gain your attention you might consider Climate Change as a major-league point of social division. 

I have never put much faith in prophecies, the ones claiming to foretell the future. But it seems that any seer worth his or her salt could have predicted that 2020 would be an apocalyptic disaster for mankind………at least the American branch of the species. Given that magic gift of foresight why couldn’t an adept fortune teller have gazed into his or her crystal ball to warn us of a Tropical Storm season on steroids, or how the dry and windy western half of our country was about to spawn such disastrous fires and destruction.

For those of us who cannot foretell the future the question is……how did we get to this distressing place? Have we failed to appreciate the fragile balance that allows our world’s eco-system to operate in a “human friendly” manner………or have we consciously allowed the ‘gods of profit’ to drive their destructive, “unfriendly” agenda? In either case, why have we allowed this global destruction to happen?

In our little corner of the world 2020 will be remembered as the year the Oregon Cascades, and especially the Santiam River Canyon, turned to fire. Roma and I were rightfully thankful that our discomfort was limited to a darkened, orange-tinted mid-day overcast and days of low-hanging, ash-laden smoke. 

Still, it was hard to find comfort in that when a mere thirty minutes from our front door dozens of unfortunate folks, including a few we knew personally, had lost literally everything except the clothes on their back and the vehicle they used to escape the approaching inferno. It was hard not to feel a tinge of guilt about our unmerited good fortune.

Or perhaps your complaint de jour is the plague of ‘social, racially-fueled unrest’ that has gripped our nation. Without pointing fingers or placing blame I fear that sad reality is destined to impact American society in ways we may scarcely comprehend. No matter how I approach our sad dilemma I keep returning to one unrelenting question. What about the world our grandchildren will inherit?

More to the point, how will the gradual demise of the country’s white majority……the demographic condition that some assume is God’s intended plan……impact that future? It seems that trend, so threatening to so many, is unlikely to be reversed. And if it is not, will ‘social unrest’ remain a permanent feature of American life?

Yet, be it economic disparity, mankind’s impact on global climate, or social and racial unrest the epic problems we all face have at least a couple elements in common. Each of them is deeply ingrained in American culture. There will be no "On/Off" switches, no quick fixes.

With that in mind it seems to me that until our nation…..its leaders, its politicians, and its people…….is able to come together, and more importantly “work together,” the answers we seek will remain out of reach. Truth to tell, that “coming together,” which we have managed to accomplish in times past, will not happen all by itself. It will require a special sort of leadership. 

The status quo cries out for that leadership……the sort that can help stop the bleeding, acknowledge our failings, and turn us toward the slow and tedious process of reconciliation. The sort that brings people together, rather than pushing them apart.

From the beginning Obama struck me as one who could be that leader. Sadly, I fear that he was simply too black for many of our people to accept in that role.

  On the other hand, as a “unifier” Trump will never get out of the gate. Actually, it is a role he shows no interest in playing. “Bringing people together,” seeking a middle ground, is apparently far down his list of priorities, a list that appears to be headed by “Winning at any cost.” Instead, he revels in Napoleonic posses, wanting us to believe the epic grandeur he sees in his own mind.

At this moment in history I happen to believe that Biden understands and believes in the “coming together” we need so badly. But I have to wonder if he can muster the dynamic charisma it will take to bring today’s young voters into the fold. 

So many of today’s youngsters have been raised on “Not winning is the same as losing.” The notion of ‘compromise,’ instead of ‘domination' might be a hard sale with many of them……at least until they, like the rest of us……have spent more time paying the high price of everyone doing their own thing.

To summarize……Economic inequity…… climate change……social and racial unrest …….and political division………. 

Together those elements will play key roles in framing the coming decade and beyond. In the hands of leaders we have yet to choose, those important factors will help shape the outcomes we have yet to create. Here’s hoping we choose wisely.