THE ROAD TO BECOMING THE PERSON WE ARE

I have mentioned that project before in these pages……the nearly 400 page memoir I subtitled ……My Bumpy Road to Growing Up. I remember encouraging my October/November readers (You know who you are.) to consider assembling their own personal life account, for themselves and their families. 

In order for Amazon/KDP to print the book I had to offer it for sale on my Amazon Author’s Page. Truth was, I did not want to do that. After all, it was the most personal writing I had ever attempted, and remains so today.

But I did that. I offered the book for sale at $47.50……and no one bought it. Mission accomplished.

Yet here I am, revisiting the notion of a ‘life story,’ hoping to use a somewhat different means of promoting that idea. This time I plan to spend more than one post to explain my intent. It will take two, three, or more installments……beginning with what follows - - Chapter 1 - Why Tell This Story. 

I encourage you to read it with an eye toward how the ‘life story’ questions I ask apply to you and your own story. With that, let’s see what I had to say

                 CHAPTER 1 - WHY TELL THIS STORY?

There are dozens of reasons to explore one’s life, and dozens of ways to approach that process. Beyond those matters of motivation and technique lies the most fundamental question of all. Why do I feel called to tell my story?

As I set out on this journey I have at least three reasons in mind. Chances are I will find others along the way. For now, however, I will be seeking these answers. 1) Why did I choose not to concentrate on the opportunities I was gifted as a young man? 2) Why did I instead settle for my own ‘road less traveled’ and a more satisfying form of success? 3) And, how was I lucky enough to win the lady who would put up with all my foolishness, and provide a helping hand in my search?

Fact is I want to know more about what made me the ‘me’ I have become. In the process I will be retelling and perhaps even reliving bits of my life in hopes of gaining insight. To be sure, this will be the most personal writing I have ever attempted. And most importantly, I am doing it to satisfy myself, no one else.

It is high time to face this life of mine head on and see where my thoughts take me. Hopefully I can confirm that ‘satisfaction’ and ‘fulfillment’ are not prizes to be found in the world of ‘things,’ but are instead products of soul-deep expectations we cultivate in the course of a lifetime.

I won’t pretend to address every detail of my long life. Instead I want to gather the recollections that stand out to me, whether or not their importance is obvious to a casual reader. It is that hopeful gathering of long-dormant memories and emotions that has drawn me toward this telling. 

I know there are intuitions and aspirations, anxieties and injuries that inhabit the inner ‘me,’ like ghosts of times past. I want to know more about those invisible specters. What should they mean to me? How are they connected to the person I have become? How do those long-ago episodes, perhaps insignificant at the time, relate to the answers I am still seeking at this advanced stage of life?

Have you ever wondered how seemingly-minor, often-momentary events are able to create such lasting subconscious associations? You and I live daily with hopes and anxieties that confirm the significance of long-past events. 

Are those yearnings and apprehensions real? Are they the basis of a fruitful life? Or simply illusions, unsafe to lean on in the heat of life-stressing situations? And where do all those questions come from? 

More to the point, why is my eighty-three (now 88) year old mind still seeking those answers? Surely by this time of life I should have learned to live with my accumulated doubts and uncertainty. Why haven’t I created more satisfying answers by now? Surely most people my age have managed that.

In the course of a lifetime all of us construct explanations that we rely on to create our ways of coping. Some of that logic may be shaky, barely able to hide the dysfunction it is meant to address. Some of it is more productive. I would like to know more about the ‘answers’ I have fashioned on my life journey. Which ones created real resolution? Which ones simply shielded me from the reality of unwelcome questions?

My search for personal answers, the strongest motivation of this exploration, may not make sense to anyone else. The drama and emotion of my seeking may be real only to me. Chances are an outsider will consider my questioning asides strange at best, occasionally humorous, and perhaps at times the work of a deranged mind.

For the most part my life answers have been adequate. They have allowed me to deal with the situations at hand, if not always well. Some questions that required an answer in an earlier time have ceased to be an issue for me. And, of course, there have been times when my answers were simply wrong and unproductive. 

Like you, I have spent a lifetime trying to create satisfactory responses to life’s challenges. In the process I have reached the supposed calm and quiet of retirement……yet there are questions that still remain.

Will this telling of my story, help me find those answers? How can I know that at the beginning? Ask me again when we reach the end. In the meantime why not join me on the bumpy road to my Becoming.

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With that, I hope you will join me for the next installment of exploring a Life Story……..I’m guessing that you will find meaning in the process.

A ROAD LESS TRAVELED

Is this what “Make America Great Again” really looks like? Let’s take moment to look a little deeper.

Here we are, embarking on a frantic new path……with new leaders and new directions. Set aside for a moment your personal Trump feelings ……be they adoration or disgust. (There seems to be little middle ground.) Instead, concentrate on where this path we have chosen for ourselves may take us. (Let’s not forget that our entire population, all of us, had a part in making that choice.)

As hard as it might be to imagine, let’s focus on circumstances that might produce a degree of agreement among our citizens. For instance, I am guessing that most of us believe that our great nation ought to face up to its nagging debt problems, both public and private. Beyond that we ought to rein in the cost of living, and bring a living wage and adequate housing to more of our people.

Assuming that we could agree on those broad objectives, are tariffs, deportations, and removal of government agencies the way to accomplish those goals? I don’t know. Truth is, no matter what I think of our new leadership at this early stage of the game I am not smart enough to know what will work and what won’t.

So let’s start at the beginning. Are there things that ought to change? We have already noted a few possibilities. Beyond those broad goals, who among us would be surprised to learn there is some level of fraud and corruption embedded in our multi-trillion dollar government……things that ought to be weeded out? I for one take that as a given.

But now the question is……will this new team of intrepid corruption fighters solve any of those problems, or simply plant a new crop of ‘bad seeds’ in the dirt they have uncovered? Again, I don’t pretend to have those answers, but you know what they say about history repeating itself.

If you are like me you have spent a lifetime, perhaps a long lifetime, observing our government in action……how it worked, and how it impacted its citizens. Though the names and faces kept changing, the way things were done was usually quite predictable. 

But now……perhaps for once in our lifetime……it feels like everything is changing. We seem to be setting off on a road less traveled. You and I may judge the results as better or worse, but they are definitely different. What are we to make of that?

Rather than judging our new leader by his personal traits, what he says, and who he brings to his team……may I suggest that the minimum test we ought to hold him and his government to is their ability to address and achieve the goals that most all of his constituents accept as desirable outcomes for a UNITED States of America.

So how shall we gauge the efforts of these new ‘crime fighters’? I suppose there are many ways to measure governmental results. But rather getting bogged down in ‘government babble-speak’ I would suggest that we take a moment to note some of the societal ills that most of us, on either side of the aisle, would like to see addressed…..things like the following: (In no particular order.)

• Contain inflation
• Strengthen necessary social support systems
• Help unite our divided population
• Avoid mass layoffs
• Increase the minimum wage, which has been $7.25 since 2009
• Deal with housing & rental costs 
• Institute a fair and orderly immigration/asylum system
• Assure Social Security and Medicare programs
• Plus any others items on your personal list.

It seems to me that is how he ought to be judged. That is what we deserve.