Looking ahead to what?
In today’s sometimes upside-down world our October Years…..our 60s and 70s…..are likely associated with retirement. Certainly by our November years most of us have escaped the yolk of employment, even if we wish we were still on the job.
As someone who spent his September looking forward to what he expected to be the carefree independence of October, I can recall the seductive retirement dreams that tugged at me like a magnet. In my unpracticed eyes the main attraction was the promise of TIME…..lots of time to do the things I wanted to do and see the places I dreamed of seeing.
What I perhaps did not understand in those heady moments was how that “promise of time” would require so many choices to be made. And we, Roma and I, would be the ones making those choices. No one else would create the future we hoped to have.
Hey, it’s our future
Yet, like most folks who look forward to the future they have constructed in their mind, our October reality turned out to be different than we expected. At every turn it seemed the carefree time we hoped would change everything was being usurped and redirected by an assortment of distractions. Unexpected issues…..healthwise, financial, and relational….. kept getting in the way. Heck, I even wrote a novel, Family Matters, about conflicting retirement dreams gone wrong.
Still, even in the face of those unscripted speed bumps, there was indeed more time for the two of us to pursue at least some of our earlier plans. To the extent our circumstances allowed we were able to live out some of our retirement dreams.
I suppose it says something about human nature, doesn’t it? That we are willing to endure forty years of often uninspiring employment for the right to spend our last ten or twenty years making what we hope will be better use of our increasingly precious time.
But what does it mean, “a better use of our time,” and “living out our dreams”? What would be a “better use”? And which of “our dreams” should we pursue? What choices do we have, and how can we decide which ones will work best for us?
Is it time for a bucket list?
The process of cataloging our dreams has been called different things over the years. But in recent times, especially since Rob Reiner’s 2007 movie featuring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, many of us have settled on a new label to describe the life goals we hope to achieve. So today I will be addressing “Bucket Lists”…..in particular an October Bucket List.
I know what you may be thinking right now. I have preached this sermon before. But the truth of it remains. It is all about “October Becoming.” No matter what our age or capabilities we have the opportunity, even the obligation, to move beyond our comfort zone. In age-appropriate ways late-life ought to have us stretching our mind and our body……taking us to places we may never visit again. That’s what October Becoming is all about.
But how do we identify those new possibilities? Once again it is time to to prove that my eighty-one year old “November” mind is at home in today’s cyber world. When it comes to tough questions……such as “What bucket list ideas best fit an octogenarian misfit like me, ones that might help me make the most of my remaining years?”……where should I turn for answers? Why Google, of course. Why wouldn’t I?
Is our future among the Google answers?
Without trying to judge the quality of its results, I hope we can agree that Google is very good at generating answers. Our task, when we set out to create a personal bucket list, is to choose the possibilities that fit the person and/or the couple that we are and the future we envision for ourselves……in terms of both what we want to do and what we are able to do.
With that in mind I turned on the computer, called up Google, and entered……”Retirement Bucket List Ideas.” If you are a regular Google user you know that my question did not produce an answer, or two, or three. It instantly offered thousands of “Bucket List” responses. (Though I won’t pretend to vouch for all of them.)
I selected from the first page three sites that seemed to match my request. In no particular order I found a “Full Retirement Bucket List,” from England, offering 50 items, “The Ultimate Retirement Bucket List,” which seemed to share a common source with the English site, and “61 Simple and Cheap Bucket List Ideas,” which fit both my budget and sightly warped taste. Taken together, those three lists offered a smorgasbord of bucket list candidates. But how was I to make sense of so many?
Create a future that fits you
At that point it seemed to me a series of filters were called for……tests that reflect the interests, age, and physical capabilities of the potential bucket lister. A healthy, adventurous sixty year old might put skydiving at the top of his list. I know at least one eighty-one year old who would pass on that. The point is, a functional, real-life bucket list needs to be appropriate for a relatively-functional ‘real-life’ person. Finally, we must understand that our bucket list goals will change over time. Our list ought to be a living, organic thing……that grows with us.
What other examples of things to see or do appeal to you and fit your profile? You have a lifetime of dreams to draw on. Why not make your bucket list as expansive and ambitious as your health and budget allow? Chances are there will never be a better, more fruitful time than your October years to spread your wings and enjoy those experiences. Those prime years for “doing,” “exploring,”and “traveling” may not last as long as you hope. In that case, my advice is to go for the gusto while you can.
October Gusto
So what might “October gusto” look like? Again referring to the online lists from Google, it could include …… **revisiting your original honeymoon destination, **seeing the Northern Lights, **learning to play the piano or guitar, **taking cooking or painting lessons, **planning your own European or Asian Grand Tour. (Our 13-week European Tour was a wonderful way to kick-off what would in time become a less ambitious retirement.)
If, on the other hand, late-October and November have caught up with you, your bucket list ought to reflect the ‘new’ you. What I particularly liked about the “Simple and Cheap” list was the recognition that a bucket list, especially in late-life, does not have to be made up of great adventures. There are dozens of options that anyone, at any age, can opt for.
Why not co-create your future
The bottom line, however, remains the same. Each of us, as an individual or part of a relational team, is blessed with unique possibilities. Within the parameters of our personal circumstances we have the opportunity to help create and direct the course of our future. In my humble opinion we have an obligation to play a role in co-creating our remaining years.
I believe that means it is okay, even fun, to read and consider what others offer as worthy bucket-list candidates. But in the end the choices we make are ours alone. Whatever your future holds I pray that you will be an active participant in choosing the path it takes.
I’m glad to offer a couple ideas of my own
Finally, if you are looking for bucket list ideas I have a couple modest suggestions of my own to offer.
One, why not move beyond your comfort zone and consider becoming an October Years participant, by ‘Commenting’ on posts you enjoy or take exception to? It takes only a few minutes to be part of what I would love to be an ongoing, two-way dialogue, where readers help determine the course of the conversation.
Two, if you come across a particularly interesting October Years post why not share it with a friend who might enjoy it too. In fact, if they agree, I would be happy to include their email address on my mailing list. As you might imagine I am always looking to expand our readership.
With that, my own bucket list seems to be suggesting an afternoon nap. Have a good day.
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