LET'S HEAR IT FOR LATE-LIFE BOLDNESS

Let’s Hear it for Late-Life Boldness

(Original posted 10/2015)

Do you ever wish that these late-life years, our Octobers and Novembers, came with a crystal ball? If you are like me, by this stage of the game your timing and energy may not be what they once were. There are moments when it would really help if we could see around the next corner of our life-path….to have a better idea of what to expect and how to prepare for it. Alas, like every other time of life, October and November do not provide that kind of foresight. 

There are times, of course, when each of us indulges in our own form of looking around that next corner. How often have we said with conviction that “I am definitely going to do ‘this or that’ next year” or “I’ll never do ‘this or that’ again”? Do we say that intending to predict the future? Probably not, though we may have wanted it to sound that way. In the end, however, it is not our predictions, but the choices we actually make, that will shape our future. 

Perhaps you know someone who is weighed down by late-life realities, apparently ready to give up on his or her future. What happens when the future we can’t see and don’t know has already defeated us? How do we move beyond that stubborn barrier….when a change of course seems not to be worth the effort? Whatever the answer, I believe that using our October/November status as an excuse to cease our “Becoming” is to sell ourselves short.

Months ago I mentioned in these pages that I planned to title my next story October Bold. And now, having completed the first draft, I find that the name still  seems to fit. It describes the simple tale of a sixty-something pair….she from Oregon, he from Iowa….each of them still dealing with the loss of a spouse. In time they will come face to face with the unsettling reality that a new relationship, if that is in the cards, is bound to require a change of course and attitude. 

Getting the best from the relational possibilities the pair faces will require change. And the necessary changes will require a dose of October Boldness. After all, the questions they must answer now are decades removed from when they were first asked. 

As I have said before, the October Boldness I advocate is not a matter of daring adventure or great physical risk, but rather the risk of nagging doubts, hurt feelings, embarrassment, or head shaking snickers. It includes a willingness to venture beyond our comfort zone….proving to ourselves that our fragile egos can deal with those doubts and challenges. 

More to the point, October/November Boldness is a frame of mind. It is a conscious decision, no matter how timid, to reach for what we perhaps assumed was out of reach. It requires a willingness to act in the face of all the reasons we have created for not acting. It’s about taking a chance. After all that we’ve gone through to reach that time of life, why not be bold? Haven’t we earned that right….in a late-life sort of way?

Let me put a personal spin on this. Perhaps someone will buy my books…. maybe they won’t. My blog may be read….or not. Either way, my own Late-Life Boldness allows me the opportunity to be true to myself….to create the characters I imagine into being, and send them off to create a future for themselves. Hopefully they will be bold enough to seek the best of what that future can be. After all, even at our age, we deserve the chance to give it our best. 

It’s what I call ‘Becoming’….moving ahead toward a hopefully better version of who we are. Though we can’t avoid the change that is part of every life, we can influence its course….how it plays out in our own Becoming. After all, perhaps the most important of all change agents is the small voice in our head or our heart, urging us to become the person we are meant to be.

So why not scrape off those limiting barnacles and be more open to taking those chances? Step out with your own brand of Late-Life Boldness. Who cares if you end up looking silly or out of place? If you’re like me, you’ve been there before. To hold back or hesitate because of what someone else may say or think about my feeble efforts strikes me as a cowardly and very unbold reason for not acting.

I pray that you can be bold in your own Late-Life ways. If there is something you want to try or do, and there is nothing more than your own timidity holding you back….then give it a try. What are you waiting for? Will it be easier next year?