WHAT IF 'LOVE' DOESN'T WORK FOR ME?

It is the Christmas season, a spiritually significant time for many folks……a time that celebrates the comforting, even theological notion of ‘Love.’

Here’s hoping I can say what I want to say without offending too many folks. You see, I’ve been wondering about the times when that word,“Love, doesn’t seem to say what we mean? At least in my mind there are times when that single syllable, the one we throw around so carelessly, just doesn’t work?

But let’s begin with an even more obvious question. “What gives me of all people the right to sound like I know what I am talking about?”

And the only answer I can offer is that somewhere along the way I realized that I have too often settled for the easy way out……those times when I have simply nodded my agreement with someone’s ‘Love’ statement and carried on.

So what does that have to do with anything? Let’s see if I can explain. I’ll begin with the fact that in today’s world many of our most ‘American’ Americans like to proclaim that we are a Christian nation……or at least we were in the beginning. Though I am not here to debate that claim, I do sometimes wonder what that means to those folks.

So it was, when I turned to what I had been taught as a youngster is a pillar of that Christian faith……The Sermon on the Mount……I found myself bumping into an unexpected theological question. 

What if the Biblically provided words of Matthew’s Gospel don’t seem sufficient when measured by today’s language usage? Is paraphrasing the Divine allowed? Is it okay to dig a little deeper?

You see, they don’t exactly work for me……those “Love your neighbor, Love your enemy” instructions the Sermon preaches. I don’t suppose I ought to admit that, but that is how it seems to me.

And the problem I have is with that single word……”Love.”……It seems to me such an imprecise, awkward, often misused word……one that apparently means different things to different people.

In today’s world we speak of “Loving our spouse,” or ‘Loving’ a beautiful sunset. I can even “Love my peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” Fact is, in its present usage that single word is so imprecise, so overused. It can mean so many things. 

So what did the biblical Jesus have in mind when his sermon told us to “Love our enemy”? Fortunately, he took the time to offer several examples of what that ‘Love’ meant to Him, and how it ought to be lived out……in a life of compassion, selflessness, and caring for the poor and marginalized.

That has me wondering what today’s True Believers, the proud sponsors of a ‘new direction’ for our nation, are stressing when they claim to “Love their enemy”?

I’m guessing that at one time or another each of us has been told, “Say what you really mean.” Chances are we have told our own children they can prove what is important to them by what they “do,” rather than what they “say.” “If you believe it, let if show in your actions.”

In the end, reciting “Love your neighbor, Love your enemy,” tells the world less about what you believe than the way you live out that ‘Love.’ 

We prove our ‘Love’ by acting out our caring in a caring way……by being aware of those ‘other persons’ and their needs……showing empathy……feeling their trials……wanting the best for them……in ways that Jesus’ sermon led us beyond the “Love’ words, by urging us to ‘walk the walk.’

Which brings me back to my personal inability to passively accept ‘Love’ as a sufficient way to label the behavior expected of me. ‘Love’ is a word to be lived, not simply spoken.

When all is said and done I am left with a pair of overriding questions. 

Is today’s ‘Christian Nation’……which claims to be leading us into a new MAGA-inspired future ……committed to the cause of ‘living out’ the ‘Love’  that Jesus spoke of......the compassion, and caring for the poor and marginalized that he expects of us? 

Is our new administration, with its ‘Retribution’ rhetoric, the one the American people have chosen for themselves, and which that ‘Christian Nation’ has so loyally supported, willing to ‘Walk His walk,” putting people ahead of power and profits?

I pray that they are.

about the times when “Love”

Ain’t 

AzAAAin’t

'TIS THE SEASON TO BE.......

 If you are like me there are times when it is hard to wrap your mind around the conflicting bits of logic. The hectic holidays that end our calendar year ……Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years……offer the promise and celebration of thankfulness, caring, and hope for the future. We hear those claims over and over as the holiday frenzy mounts.

Yet the experts who study such things are quick to remind us that same holiday atmosphere is for many folks a time of anxiety, loneliness, and sagging hopes. All around us a significant portion of the population hears the supposedly upbeat messages of the season, yet remains convinced that those blessings have not found a home in their world. For those folks the Christmas Grinch is a personal, very real reality.

Which of those conflicting possibilities speak to us? Or does your holiday-meter swing back and forth, touching both highs and lows. Regardless of what our moods reflect……be it financial anxiety, craved-for success, relational elation or disappointment, or a spiritual reality that has us feeling hopeful or depressed……we must continue to move ahead……both for ourselves and our fellow travelers, especially those is need.

The fortunate among us will have the caring support of family and friends to help us weather the holiday craziness……and thank God for that.

Yet we ought not turn a blind eye to the many appeals for help the season brings ……from Salvation Army bell-ringers to the flood of mailings seeking our help. Lord knows we can’t help everyone in need. But most of us October/November types can choose a particular charity that appeals to us, and support it in a meaningful way.

So many folks need our help. And by this stage of life we realize that we need to be helping. It is good for us. Besides, it can mean more than a cash outlay. It might include taking a few minutes to check in with someone who may not live their life in the holiday mainstream. A few brief moments spent giving your undivided attention to someone who feels left out of the season’s festivities can be a most precious gift……one that you will feel better for having given.

Here’s hoping our holiday season includes moments of thankful reflection on the many ways we have been blessed……and how we might share those blessings.

BUCKLE UP ! THERE IS A NEW CIRCUS IN TOWN

HANG OF

It has the feel of a new day dawning……revealing a future we have yet to see clearly. Seems to me that the ultimate message is still hidden behind a shroud of puzzling pronouncements, and a new crop of national leaders and Efficiency Experts that have yet to come into focus.

Is there anything we can do to prepare for “the new United States government”? Fact is, we don’t yet know what it will look like……that still-murky future proclaimed by a recently elected leader, and the newly empowered cast of characters who have emerged from the fringes to take center stage.

What can we say or do to ease the anxious wondering of thousands, even millions of potential victims of proposed job cuts, relocations, and deportations……the folks our new leaders are so eager to send to the sidelines? Even when those changes are the product of financial logic, what will be the effect on our already fragile social fabric?

Though there may be moments along the way when our congressional representatives have an opportunity to affirm, deny, or alter those new government edicts, chances are the course is set. 

Don’t forget, a majority of our people asked the Ringmaster to step up and take charge. He told us all very bluntly about the changes he had in mind……and enough voters agreed to the future they heard in his words.

All of us, including the fifty percent of our population who voted to adopt this new path, will have to find ways to adapt. That will certainly be true for those who find themselves without a paycheck in the name of governmental efficiency.

You and I may choose to either encourage or resist that change, but no matter how we decide to respond let’s not lose sight of a most important given……each of us is responsible for the life-path we choose to walk. We mustn’t let any government decide that for us.

So buckle up, folks. The new roller coaster ride is about to begin. It is what our people chose, what they voted for. Hang on tight, because no one knows just where it will take us.

ELECTION DRAMA AND CHAOS

Here we are, in the last days of another “Too close to call” race that leads to who knows where. The runners, at every level from President to Dogcatcher, are feeling the heat. Their promises grow more compelling and outlandish by the day. AI fueled ads are spreading disinformation like peanut butter……and it gets harder to know what is real and what is illusion.

It is, after all, big business……the endless TV ads, the mega-rallies, and the mega donations. The media giants love the hoopla, and the profits.

Damn! Sometimes democracy can get a little crazy.

Democracy. The word itself is meant to refer to the “the people,” the great masses who cast their votes and choose their leaders That’s right……democracy is supposed to be about “us”……you and me. Is that the way it actually works?

Once the winners are decided the spoils will be assigned and divided. Some folks will get what they wanted. Others will have won a sense of loss. And, you might ask, what about me? How will I be feeling? What will the results mean to me?

In my muddled mind, as I watch the swirl of election madness come closer, I am occasionally  inclined to stake my claim on one side or the the other.  Then I pause to remind myself that it is time to keep both feet on the ground, ready to walk whatever path emerges from the chaos.

To be sure, our role is to vote……to vote for what seems right to us.

Yet, no matter what the outcome I must be ready to live in the world as it is, and will become. After all, I am convinced that no one else has a greater role in shaping my future……whatever it may be……than I do. As always, whatever future we face, now is the time for me to consider what works best for me and mine.

It seems to me that in a world too often dominated by ‘extremes’ my future is best served by seeking the middle ground.….the path that deals with those extremes when necessary. Time will tell how well that approach serves me.

CAN. YOU SPARE A PRAYER?

There are some things in life that I have never mastered. I may have danced around the edges, and tried to do better……but it still feels like I have come up short.

Can you relate to that sense of failing? I suppose every one of us can remember times when we could not “get with the program” as well as we wanted.

So what is it that has me revisiting my own periodic sense of coming up short? What failing would be worth the effort to fill an empty blog page with my ramblings? 

Truth to tell, my list of shortcomings probably includes more than a few candidates. But right now my focus is on one particular, and altogether important activity, And that, my friend, has to do with my often stumbling inability to PRAY effectively.

That’s right. On this day in October I am sensing a deep deficiency in my ability to compose, speak, and feel the prayerful thoughts I long to express.

It is not something I brag about……my intermittent prayer life. My efforts are apt to be brief, and short of the preferred solemnity. But I often feel the need to express my gratitude for the way life has blessed me. When I sense that need I am inclined to offer thanks in an often informal way.

So it is, I can offer my prayers of thanksgiving. But when it comes to petitions for Divine assistance, especially for others, I seem to come up short. And that is exactly where I am today……watching news reports of storms marching through Hurricane Alley, and fellow humans who may well be losing everything…….through no fault of their own.

How can we, with our feeble prayers, enlist the help they so desperately need? To even hope for the best feels like an ultimate act of faith…….yet it seems to me the best I can do.

With that I will renew my prayer……and send my paltry check to an appropriate charity. 

HER TURN TO BE HEARD

I have spent fifteen years posting my own rambling, often-disjointed thoughts in this blog form. In that time I have covered a wide range of topics that seemed to me appropriate for late-life readers……those of us dealing with what I call The October Years. And, of course, since I call this “a writer’s blog,” I have ‘sected and di-sected’ the stories I have told over the years.

But before you are turned off by the distressing possibility of another replay of “Gil and his stories,” let me assure you that my admittedly biased opinions of those Tanner Chronicle tales will not be found here. Not today.

Instead, I am adding a new voice to the conversation. Allow me to offer a bit of context.

In the months following Roma’s July, 2022 passing I let myself get lost in a lengthy process of creating new covers for each of my October Years paperbacks……the stories were unchanged, only the covers were new.

When the first ‘new’ version arrived I replaced the older copy on the living room bookshelf. As I did that I found a handwritten note inside the old paperback. To my surprise Roma had reread the story and created a brief review……her opinion of the story and the characters. Before I was done I had found eleven of those reviews among the paperbacks on that shelf.

Understand, from the beginning Roma had read every chapter of every story as I completed it. She was my proofreader and grammar coach ……correcting my writing, but rarely critiquing the story I was telling.

Suddenly that had changed. Though I had never paid for a review, and for reasons I never understood Amazon would not allow reviews of my books, in a matter of months after her drawn-out,, cancer-induced passing there she was, in her own handwriting, offering the blunt and to-the-point opinions I would have expected from her.

Truth to tell, I accept the praise she offers for the stories and characters she likes all the more because she is equally inclined to point out the flaws and failings of the stories and characters she does not find appealing. That is the lady I love……going straight to the heart of the matter.

And that is what I offer you today……eleven reviews in Roma’s own words, each one with a brief introduction to set the scene.  As one who walked that storytelling path with me, it seems only right that she has the last words on these matters.

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SECOND CHANCES is a two book story of the widowed Harris brothers and their Geriatric Adolescence adventures.

Roma……I really liked this book. It was so well written and very believable. I could feel the love the brothers had for each other. I enjoyed their banter back and forth.

My least favorite character was Claudia. She is a wimp. I don’t understand people like her. Sure she had a hard life, but she didn’t try to make it any easier for herself. Luckily Gary saw more in her than I did.

Even though I’d read the story before I was still worried and excited about Elly’s adventure with Tom. It was like watching a movie.

I didn’t like Tom (of course.) But in the end I felt sorry for him. He really did love Elly.

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LONG WAY HOME is a continuation of the Harris brothers’ story.

Roma……I liked the second half of the Harris brothers saga almost as much as the first.

At first I found the Freedom City and Baja episodes a little unbelievable, but you did such a good job writing them that they became believable.

I am always amazed at your descriptions. Do you use a map to check out places and distances?

Even though I had read the story before and knew how it would turn out, I still shed a tear when Laura got back to the family.

The whole soulmate thing surprised me. I though you were more of a believer than that! 

Good job!!!

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BECOMING tells of Carl Postell leaving his wife to become a writer, then falling for his father’s caretaker.

Roma……I have to start by saying I did not enjoy this book very much. It was well written and you certainly developed the story well. My hang up is primarily because I did not like Carl Postell.

To me he was a very selfish man. I’m not sure he ever loved his wife. It didn’t seem like it. Thirty seven years went down the drain because he wanted to write and his wife was a bother and a nag. 

Did that happen overnight? Did he ever try to explain his passion in a way she could maybe understand? He certainly was much more anxious to bend his rules for Maria. (Who did not deserve it.)

He was an only child, yet he could only be bothered to have (a free) lunch with his dad a couple times a week. No rides, movies, etc. He was even thinking of leaving him alone at Christmas. No, I did not like this guy. I think he got what he deserved.

I’ve never known anyone like Maria, so I can’t really comment on her……but I didn’t really like her either.

I thought the friend, Jack, was a person I can’t relate to. He had no ambition other than to pursue a dream from his childhood. How sick is that? I’m glad for Cynthia, but I think she could have done better.

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BEST FRIENDS AND PROMISES follows Aaron Peck as his wife sinks into dementia, and he and Johnny Blanton cope with late-life.

Roma……The first time I read this story I didn’t like it. Maybe it was the subject matter. I don’t know. But you’ve smoothed it out some and did such a great job telling the story that I’ve changed my mind.

I love how you develop your characters. I can visualize them and feel like I know them. Johnny to me was definitely Joel. The others were no particular people, just friends.

I’m not sure Aaron and Beverly are going to make their promises work in the long haul unless Leona has an early demise.

Good job!

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CONVERSATIONS WITH SARAH Hank deals with Sarah’s passing by visiting with the Clabber Girl Baking Powder tin that holds her ashes. 

(Confession…Roma’s ashes reside in my Cave, in a Clabber Girl Baking Powder tin.)

Roma……..I was prepared not to like this story. Your depiction of Sarah dying reminded me too much of watching your Mom die. It brought up images I’ve tried to forget. 

And I wasn’t sure if some guy talking to a tin can was going to work. But as the story progressed I got caught up in Hank's adventure and the characters, and found it really enjoyable. (Are widows truly the predators you make them out to be?)

I was glad that Jimmy came along to save Grace from her dull life. She must have been ready, because she adjusted pretty quickly.

I like the way you manage to incorporate some of our adventures into your stories.

I liked it.

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GOING POOR Lane Tipton is a dreamer whose dreams have failed him.

ROMA……This was not my favorite book. Mainly, I didn’t like the topic. You told the story well. I like how the ending worked out, but I couldn’t identify with the two women. 

No one in my acquaintance would invite a guy into her trailer after a couple weeks. And Marla was so whinny and needy. They had gotten along on their own for months and all of a sudden they both caved.

I always enjoy the detail you provide, weaving your story. That part is believable, but the women got in the way.

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OCTOBER BOLD David and Marian were two timid souls, thousands of miles apart……. wondering if they should be together.

Roma……I liked the story very much. I think I might have recognized Marian.

I have to say I’ve never experienced love at first sight. I know it happens, but I don’t really understand it. I think your characters were having a little problem with it too.

I liked the way your were able to use your own ladder mishap to such good advantage.

All in all, it was an enjoyable read……except for one thing. Everyone kept referring to her as “That Oregon lady” or “That Tanner woman,” and they referred to him as “That Iowa guy” or “That Iowa farmer.” Why not use their names?

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BREATHING UNDERWATER Jim and Anita were facing their own ‘underwater’ reality. The need to downsize was disappointing, but real.

Roma……The first time I read this book, I really didn’t like it. It was hitting too close to my own feelings at the time. I can read it now, and enjoy it. I guess I have “settled in.”

The characters were very believable, but I couldn’t identify with any of them. The husband was a saint to put up with that whinny wife, the wife was a loser, as was the son. The daughter and grand daughter had possibilities.

I think Jim deserves better.

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FAMILY MATTERS Dan and Nell can not agree on their retirement future. What can come of that?

Roma……Amazon won’t let me post a reviews so this will have to do.

I like the book. I recognized some of the characters.

I was upset with Dan and Gary. From my point of view (and eventually yours) they were a couple of selfish, insensitive clods. But you turned them around in the end.

I was not too fond of Nell either. I don’t care much for “poor me” feminine women.

I thought Dan’s adventures and the people he met in his travels were very likable and believable.

I think you can be very proud of your effort here.

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FOREVER STARTS NOW was my first novel, written in England and hidden in a closet for thirty years before igniting a new round of storytelling.

Roma……I really liked this story. It was more in line with the books I read. It was well written, suspenseful……but sad.

We all know there are kids like Ross who are picked on by other kids and ignored by the adults who should be protecting them. Add to that the fact that his neighborhood had none of the ‘nicer’ amenities that might have drawn him in.

I liked Wilson, but the girl was little over the top for me. Would a kidnapped girl really get that attached to a kid that had shot a cop and kidnapped her?

Anyway, it was a good read. You should do more of this!!!

 

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INDIAN SUMMER AT HORSESHOE RANCH is a kid’s story I wrote and read to our kids when we ranched in Eastern Oregon.

Roma…..I though this was a great kid’s story. What kid wouldn’t want to move to a ranch, have their own horse, and find an Indian treasure. It was realistic (unless you were a Stewart kid) and exciting.

How did you know so much about Indian stuff? You’re amazing!

There you have it. What a blessing it was, the surprising discovery of her reviews. It was like having her right here with me. In the process it revitalized our Clabber Girl conversations.

And what was all the fuss about? These links (LINK #1) and (LINK#2) will take you there.