Referring to my last post, The Road to Becoming Me, I remember setting out to write what would become my Memoir, telling myself I was doing it for our children and family……revisiting impressions of my life, and where my path had taken me……hopefully highlighting lessons learned along the way.
But now, five years after publishing In Retrospect, I realize that I was actually doing that for myself. And now, here I am hoping I can convince the reader that revisiting the times of his or her life can be a productive effort, a worthy use of their time.
With that, let’s begin with some context. First, I am an old guy. I have seen some things, and done some things……some of them good, some not-so-good. More to the point it is the sum of all those ‘things’ that have made me who I am today. Why wouldn’t I want to know more about that journey to ‘now’……if only vicariously?
Beyond that, what about the days I have left? What does my future look like? What could be left on my ‘to-do’ list?
All that has me asking myself if other folks my age sometimes consider revisiting the special moments of their past……the times that helped shape the person they have become. Surely I am not the only one who has those urges.
True, much of my earlier life, the “once-upon-a-time” part of my journey, no longer seems to apply, or is simply out of reach. Yet, the chance to revisit at least some of the moments worth remembering is appealing, and the notion of telling our own story ……whether yours or mine, still strikes me as a seductive possibility.
If you are like me you might feel called to make the most of the days you have left. Seems to me that telling our story is one way for each of us to do that.
It is called a “Memoir”…….literally “My story.” However, truth to tell, based on the previous times I have claimed in these pages the virtues of “telling your story,” odds are most of you don’t feel called to follow that possibility to its conclusion. Writing a book is not high on your list of things to do.
Fair enough! It is not my place to sell what you are not interested in buying. So scratch the ‘writing a book’ idea.
Yet, here I am, suggesting there is a lot to be gained from reviewing the highs and lows that trace your life journey. After all, that worthwhile exploration need not result in a book. A serious life-review can produce its own highlights……without the drudgery of writing and publishing our story. Let’s see if I can explain.
The way I approached the process of tracking the important ups and downs of my days was simply a matter of ‘connecting the dots.’ That sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? And it is……simple, but not necessarily easy. Actually, connecting the dots is not so hard……once you have the ‘dots.’
It is that task……creating the dots……that I am addressing today. And it seems to me that is one of those things that works best with a little preparation……assembling the materials that will make our work easier. I recommend that we begin with a three-ring binder, the kind you used in high school. In addition we will need a pack of lined, three-hole notebook paper. With those minimal aids, and a pen in hand, we are ready to create the ‘dots’ we will be connecting.
DOTS……Remember Hansel and Gretel? Lost in the woods they marked their passage with bread crumbs……signs of where they had been, tracing their path to “now.”
The ‘Dots’ I am talking about serve that same purpose……noting the events, recollections, wins and losses, and people we have encountered at particular moments of our Becoming. Though any given 'Dot' may have seemed incidental at the time, in hindsight it may emerge as an important step in your unfolding life.
That brings us to today’s homework assignment. Step #1 is the process of tracing the path to the ‘You’ you have become by identifying the ‘Dots’ you have left along the way on the road to today.
Beginning with your earliest memories, the ones that provide a baseline for your life journey, your “creating dots” exercise is a matter of identifying the moments that shaped your becoming……the incidents that have identified and reinforced your path, or perhaps sent you off in a different direction.
Let’s begin with the obvious. Your own list of ‘Dots’ is a unique, very personal thing……a matter of the recollections you have assembled. In my case the eighty-three years that my story covered were represented by fifty such ‘dots.’
Beginning with my earliest memories I went on to youthful, impactful events……a new neighborhood, the war years, academic success and stuttering, bullies and best friends, a few successes and just as many failures, the first ‘her,’ high school highs and lows, college, the real ‘Her,’ family times, career stops, and retirement. Rest assured, as you lose yourself in your own recollections you will not be short of subject matter.
As I listed those Dot candidates I used each of them as a heading on a blank page……just enough detail to prompt a further explanation when I returned to expand each of those ideas. For now I was concentrating on creating a list of events and persons that had left their mark on me.
For that first step chronological order was not so important. I filed each page in my three-ring binder, knowing I could rearrange the order they would appear in the final version.
Looking back, I suppose I spent two or three weeks creating that list of Dots I would use to chart my path from the beginning to the present ‘me.’ And, of course, there would be additional pages added along the way as new memories surfaced.
With that overview I will close this ‘Creating Your Dots’ exercise. I hope I have at least set you thinking about the chain of happenings that have made you who you are today. Just close your eyes and set your mind at ease……tracking back to recollections that mark your own journey.
Personally, I consider the time spent revisiting those moments to be worth the time. In the next post I will return with notes about the next step of tying all those loose ends together.
......... dot dot
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