CONNECTING OUR DOTS

 

               

         “An unexamined life is not worth living.”

               Socrates

“Only as we look back at the course our footprints have traced do we fully understand  how we have read life’s inkblot.”

                                                           Huston Smith

                 

I happen to believe those old fellows have it right. I suppose that accounts for today’s change of pace. Rather than offering a dose of my pseudo-wisdom, I hope to nudge you toward a return to bits of your own history……a return to times, places, and people that were important to you.

There are, of course, many way to ‘examine’ an ‘unexamined’ life. After all, every one of us October/November folks has spent decades gathering our own unique collection of life-shaping influences and experiences ……a very personal blend of unsolicited possibilities and life-choices that have helped make us the person we have become……a one-of-a-kind individual.

Truth is, we are the result of a lifetime of influences and choices……the ones I’ll call ‘Dots.’ But how many of those ‘inputs,’ those ‘Dots’……do we even remember?

With that in mind, let’s consider today’s homework assignment……an examination of your own life by connecting those ‘Dots,’the markers that chart our trek to Becoming. I invite you to recall events and/or people who had a meaningful impact on your life’s path.

We don’t need to account for all those ‘Dots,’ just the most important ones. Without overthinking the process, I invite you to choose a handful of moments that highlight your course to Now. To be sure, it will be an incredibly personal and altogether unique journey you chart from one important impact to another.

For all of us, those meaningful events began early in life. But how often do we take the time to revisit those early times, like our grade school years, recalling the moments that stand out for us……the ones that made such an impact that we remember them to this day?

In hopes of jogging your memory, let me offer an example of one of my earliest ‘Dots.’ It was a first-grade afternoon when I came home from school to find the front door locked, and Mom nowhere in sight. A quick peek through the front window confirmed my worst fears. The living room was empty, without a stick of furniture. My family, Mom, Dad, and brother Roger, had left……without me. I call that a ‘Dot,’ and I remember vividly that sense of being left alone.

Or perhaps you dealt with an early-life ‘Dot’ that did not hinge on a single dramatic moment, but instead was an ongoing trial……one that haunted you for months, even years.

Apparently my learning to talk came with a stutter, right from the beginning. Before my school years it was no great handicap. But once I ventured into the social world of education that impediment would be an anchor I dragged behind me all through my school years…..dictating so many choices in my young life.

How about you? Can you, or are you willing to, retrieve any of your earliest ‘Dots’……the ones you still remember after all those years?

And then, with adolescence, we would come face to face with what might be labeled ‘relational Dots.’ (If you are a guy, you called them ‘girls.’) Odds are, whether you are a guy or a gal, those were some of your most memorable ‘Dots.’

Truth to tell, as a timid, stuttering young high-school junior I was simply steamrolled by that bold and brazen sophomore lass. Pulling me into a wider world, with interesting new possibilities, she pushed me to stand up for myself. Heck, we argued about my unwillingness to argue.

And then came perhaps the most consequential ‘Dot’ generator of all.  Leaving behind the constraints of home and high school, we set off to experience the real world. Whether it was work, college, the military, or some other pursuit, we were on the road to adulthood.

For me it would be college, and the most important of all the ‘Dots’ I encountered on my life-path. For the next sixty-seven years everything, for me and our family, would be framed by Roma’s firm and caring presence.

That led quite naturally to our Family Years…..some of the best of my personal ‘Dots.’ I’m guessing those times produced your share of highlights and positive ‘Dots.’ After all, we were adults by then, in a hopefully fruitful partnership, with some idea of how to get things done.

Sadly, for some of us those times would include a few pitfalls. Though, as a not-so-slightly spoiled son, I had learned that I could grow the family business……but didn’t really want to do that. After an extended ‘mid-life’ crisis……grad school, ranching, and a European writing escape……it would take a disastrous economic downturn to set things right. (A truly negative ‘Dot’ that did me a world of good.)

Once back on track again, I found a new and more satisfying career. Instead of having people working ‘for’ me, I was working ‘with’ people. Turned out I was good at that……which helped produce a very upbeat ‘Dot.’

If stepping out from high school into the real world was one of life’s most impactful ‘Dots,’ then surely retirement must rank in that same life-changing category. There we were, free at last, facing so many possibilities, with so many potential ‘Dots’ for us to choose from

In my case, it would take seven years of retirement to sort things out. I had tried many of the recommended  strategies……travel, gardening, hobbies, reading, etc……with minimal results, before I finally stumbled onto my favorite late-life ‘Dot’……blogging, telling stories and filling a bookcase shelf with the results.

And that brings us to now. I hope you have made a few mental notes along the way……capturing some of your own ‘Dots,’ those special times that helped shape and motivate the ‘You’ you have become…….moments so worth revisiting.

But, of course, our story does not end there. What sort of ‘Dots’ lie waiting for us on the road ahead? No matter what our age, no matter what our past, whether we like it or not there is no avoiding or evading the future……which invariably arrives complete with new possibilities and new choices to be made.

We have charted the path of our personal history using meaningful ’Dots,’ those special moments created by the choices we have made along the way. But that was all in the past. 

Today we are in a time called NOW. Are we ready to shape and mould the ‘Dots’ that await us on the rest of our journey? 

Fact is, we can't do nothing. Ready or not, there will be no avoiding the need to keep moving in some direction. As always, the path we take will be determined by the choices we make.