FILLING EMPTY PAGES

I will confess, there are times when my blog rambling is the product of a timid, sometimes lonely old mind. When I pause to consider why I keep filling empty pages with such fluffy stuff I realize that what I am really hoping for is a conversation……an exchange of thoughts and ideas with folks who are facing the same existential challenges that haunt my octogenarian days.

And here I am again……hoping to plant a few seeds and elicit a response or two. If your late-life world includes a normal helping of frustration, aloneness, and missing ‘what used to be’……all of them signs of a new lifestyle I am not sure I will ever get used to……chances are you can relate.

Like you, over the years I have come to understand that life is sometimes hard. There are moments when it literally hurts. Fact is, I think it is meant to be that way. How else can we learn the lessons we are meant to learn? That is why we are here.

Could it be that those who have moved on to a better place……the ones we miss so much……had learned the lessons they were meant to learn and were ready for the next level? If so, does that mean those of us who are still here have not finished our ‘learning process’? Do we still have some homework to complete before we ‘graduate’?

That ‘homework’ notion illustrates one of my primary late-life dilemmas. Here I am, with eighty-seven years on my odometer, and a lifetime of experience behind me……some of it good, some not-so-good. What makes me think there are still things for me to do, or avoid?

My short answer to that late-life question is simple enough. I am still here. I have not been called to the great beyond……which seems to suggest I have yet to complete my ‘to-do list.’ If sixty-seven years of Roma’s logic taught me anything at all, it was this……”You can’t move on until you’ve finished the work at hand.” So there must be more for me to do.

All of which begs the question……what sort of homework have I left undone? I suppose if you are one of the lucky ones you have your remaining action plan all worked out. And good for you. As for me, I guess I will continue down this slippery slope, doing what seems to make sense, and hoping the right reasons for carrying on will cross my path.

I must admit one of the most interesting ‘right reasons’ I have found in my October Years blog travels has been the opportunity to explore a bit of my own personal history in a way I never expected when I first dipped my toe in the blogging pond.

For reasons I still find hard to understand I decided to get in touch with as many of my long-ago high school classmates as I could reach. Using alumni rosters and a bit of detective work I compiled a list of email addresses……what I called the Class of 55……who would receive my periodic blog posts. 

As you would expect, those classmates numbers have dwindled over time. Or perhaps some have simply given up on an old guy’s blog. Yet it seems that some of us survivors retain an interest, perhaps even a need, to stay in touch with our roots.

I can only speak for myself, but as our late-life world grows smaller and more vulnerable, I continue to welcome the chance to remain in contact with those folks. Though few of us were ever close friends it seems that we share a common bit of history, as well as a common place in this shrinking world we call ‘late-life.’

So, even when there seems to be little reason for some of my blogging efforts, I expect I will show up in your email inbox from time to time just to stay in touch. Beyond that, I hope no one is offended to hear that I sometimes remember to include those Class of 55ers in my stumbling prayer efforts.

So until next time, stay safe and keep on doing your homework. And if you are so inclined, let us know how your world is treating you.